"One day I am so happy to have great friends and the next I start thinking about how much they really do not understand my thoughts or me..."
We’re often misunderstood in the early days, weeks, months or even years of our sobriety. We have been using disordered alcoholic thinking for so long and we sought no other counsel than our own admittedly mistaken advice. We may have fallen into the habit of not even talking with others assuming that they do not care about or understand what we are saying.
It is possible that we have cut off communications with other people. We resent them for telling us what to do and we fear that they cannot possibly know what it is like to be in recovery.
Maybe we should stop and think about what we’re not doing. What we’re not doing is giving ourselves the opportunity to receive the support and encouragement that is vital to our continued sobriety. We need people on our side, people who know and care about us. We can receive that support from the people in the AA groups. They have been there and perhaps understand us.
When we confide with our AA sponsor about our fears and concerns, we don’t need to worry about being misunderstood. Anything we say is probably similar to the experiences which he or she has had. There is no right or wrong way to speak about what’s going on in our lives.
Listening to the experiences of others and sharing in the rooms will also help us in our goal to speak more clearly. In time, we may be understood by our family members, co-workers, neighbors, friends, and the world at large.
Other alcoholics and the world may be able to understand where we are coming from but they are not obliged to accept the way we have chosen to be in sobriety. We should try not to put expectations on other people when they are affected by us and react to our recovery.
“Be not disturbed at being misunderstood; be disturbed, rather, at not being understanding.”